A Frightful-ish Release: Archive

Dec 31st

1 tag

Mind-Cruton: New Year's To-Do List

Procure sparkly false lashes Find cheap black heels with a rubber sole Shower Shave my left leg Eat a steak sandwich Moisturize Pre-game Buy scotch tape

Dec 31st

1,714 notes

Anonymous asked: what doyou look for in a guy

Dec 31st

“In this love, you are like a knife, with which I explore myself.”

– Franz Kafka, from Letters to Milena (via depressionparty)

Dec 31st

425 notes

Watch

You’re welcome for this precious mind-cruton, internet.

Dec 31st

Dec 30th

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jhskpt asked: sorry i crushed your finger in the car door this morning. i regret that.

Dec 30th

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Dec 30th

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Dec 30th

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Dec 30th

Dec 29th

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Dec 29th

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Dec 29th

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Dec 29th

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Dec 29th

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Dec 28th

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Dec 28th

242 notes

Dec 28th

1 tag

Mind-Cruton: How To Shake Off A Funk in 10 Shitty...

Create a Beyonce-heavy playlist that sonically re-affirms your status as “Hottest Bitch In This Motherfucker (TM)”. Musical selections might include, say, “Cockiness” as performed by Rihanna, or any of En Vogue’s more melisma-heavy contributions to the R&B canon. Dig around for the pair of underwear that makes your ass look the most like a Sketcher’s ad,...

Dec 28th

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Dec 28th

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Dec 27th

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Dec 27th

226 notes

Dec 27th

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Dec 27th

5,890 notes

Dec 27th

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Dec 27th

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Dec 27th

3,419 notes

Dec 27th

10 notes

1 tag

Mind-Cruton: Things I've Learned From Love & Hip...

Apologies are for people with jobs. Ex-wife > Aston Martin > fiance > manager > mother-in-law > girlfriend > jump-off > baby-momma > ham sandwich > monogamy Having a child by a man who won’t take your calls immediately makes you an irreproachable authority on motherhood. If you have nothing nice to say, you should probably talk to as many people as humanly...

Dec 27th